Private equity firms do not destroy jobs, according to a strange Deutsche Bank article forwarded on to me by a Bballe contributor who will remain nameless.

The not-so interesting article cites recent research that finds that PE created one million jobs in Europe from 2000 to 2004.

There’s a distinction between buyout segments apparently. All types of buyouts except for what the turnaround segment increased jobs, while the turnaround segment predictably slashed and burned.

Anyway, the point is that when yo momma ask you what you do, just assume the stance of a superhero and boom, “I’M A JOB CREAT-OR!”