I can’t decide. Are Jack Spade messenger bags just too gay for your average straight professional dudes?

Now you might be thinking that J. Spade bags are too gay for any straight dude, but you’re wrong there. I’ve known many a straight man who’s used them. Why, I saw no less than three today in my regular commute, toted by very straight-looking dudes (one even carrying an orange one).

And I don’t blame them. There really aren’t many choices out there. In fact the reason I’m even writing this is because a certain fellow I know started using a messenger bag out of desperation. Granted it’s his “gym bag.”

As far as I can tell, there’s just a few choices out there: the TUMI or other type of high-end computer-ish bag, professor briefcase (not to be confused with the briefcases that lawyers use), other types of too sporty messenger-ish bags like that Timbuktu nonsense, and a new burgeoning class of man purses, the varieties of which I’m not entirely familiar.

The pros: there’s something appealing about their super clean lines, the unobtrusive little label and the fact that it is a messenger bag, and not a briefcase. It’s about as un-messengery a messenger bag as you can get. You can also use it for weekend stuff.

The cons include: there are certain circumstances that the J. Spade just wouldn’t cut it. And as previously mentioned, you could be seen as gay (possible boon for all the in-the-closet bosses out there?) Lastly, the cross-chest style of messenger bags also causes some bunching of suits, I’ve noticed, unless you position it high up.

Conclusion: Not too gay.