…if you’re reading this. That’s how you know.
1. You’re miserable, but you’re not.

2. You use your work email for both personal and work purposes, even though “sensitive” material can get you in trouble (and email the most racist, profane, etc things with your work email despite that fact.)

3. You fear getting fat like the plague but do so, anyway.

4. You’ve been meaning to digitize your CD collection for a year or more.

5. You have a list at least five other to-dos that are more than 6 months old.

6. You have more than 200,000 miles/points.

7. You look down on anyone who didn’t go to a good school.

8. You can fall asleep in 20 seconds or less.

9. You pretty much only hang out with your GF/BF (or no one, if lacking GF/BF.) When do you occassionally go out with other people, you pass out — from sleep, not alcohol.

10. You’re a bit backward when it comes to anything internet related (unless you’re in VC, cover tech, etc.)

11. Your wardrobe is 90% work clothes.

12. You not only know exactly what it would take to apply to b-school, you could probably whip up an application in less than one day if someone was holding a gun to your head.

13. You see sunlight for approximately 15-30 minutes a day, if that.

14. You think it might be time to upgrade (fill in the blank).

15. You plan on retiring early.

16. You’ve eaten from the best restaurants but never stepped foot in any one of them.

17. You have a cellphone, but only use it to call your work voicemail.

18. You have not read anything longer than a 20 page pitch book since you started working.

19. You see your dry cleaner more than any other person you don’t work with.

20. You hate your dry cleaner.

21. You hate your bosses, but your real mortal enemy is the printer.

22. You have started to believe that using Excel without a mouse is actually a real skill.

23. You eye the janitor’s closet as a room you can sleep in.

24. You have developed a “film” on your body from all the late nights, which in the right light and time makes you think you are glowing.

25. You have planned some trip to Africa, or Cambodia
after you quit you’re job. Or unfortunately, you have been to Cambodia and Africa, only to find yourself back at your job.

26. You gave fallen asleep on the toilet at work.

27. You wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat when you hear your Blackberry buzzing.

To be added to …

Suggestions welcome @ editor at bankersball dot com.