Musings on Love & Banking: Banking Was My Boyfriend
By workinggirl on Mar 10, 2006 in Ask the Working Girl
I have been able remain a single gal for the last three years of my five-plus years of i-banking. At first I thought I wasn’t getting into a relationship because I was so busy with work and other aspects of my life. Then I thought perhaps I was becoming too independent for a mere man to handle. Then I realized that the i-banking life had become my boyfriend.
Despite what girls might say about how they long to be in a relationship because they want someone to love and vice versa, how they want a meaningful connection, how they want to build something substantial, yadayadaya…the fact of the matter is a lot of the times girls want a boyfriend because they want to know that come Friday night a dude is gonna take them out to a nice four star dinner, wine and dine them, send them flowers on their birthday and take them on nice vacations.
For me, my i-banking guy friends and the guys I met through my i-banking connects provided all of the above and more with none of the BS that boyfriends bring to the table. AND I didn’t have to put out.
So I guess this explains why when I quit my job I oddly felt like I was breaking up with a boyfriend (albeit sometimes possessive and unhealthy one).
On Jul 21, 2006, Ex sell side - now buy-side said:
You characterize it well. Work does become your boyfriend when you realize that it’s easier to work late, eat dinner, then get a ride home than it is to go out after work to meet people.
The downside is tremendous: no relationship, erosion of social skills, no fun that would make the drugery live-able…
By the way, I didn’t have a relationship during my entire tenure on the sell-side; the first relationship I tried to foster after moving to the buy-side went down in flames because my social skills were so rusty.
By the way, the reason why I didn’t have a relationship with a sell-side colleague is that, “you don’t sh*t where you eat.” (words to live by)
On Jul 22, 2006, anon said:
someone please buy these girls a subscription to cosmo and vogue immediately! don’t waste your “hot” years on work and rationalizing why your existence in i-banking is really something meaningful.
On Jul 23, 2006, Ex-Working Girl said:
Wow, I have NEVER, EVER felt that it was “easier to work late, eat dinner, then get a ride home than it is to go out after work to meet people.” I ALWAYS opted for going out:)
When I wrote that banking had become my boyfriend, I meant the fun side of the banking lifestyle…extravagant guy banker friends who take you out, fellow rich banker friends who can go on any fab vacation you dream up (unlike friends who are in grad school), etc. and on the bad side…the intense time commitment, having to ‘check-in, etc.
Also, I disagree on your last point. I am all for office romance (given the right circumstances). See my blurb titled ‘Office Nookie’ march 31.
On Jul 30, 2006, Ex-Working Boy said:
In terms of dating, I found working in banking limiting. Leaving banking, staying put and not traveling 300,000 miles a year has openned my world to brilliant, interesting and caring people I had never thought existed. I found of world of people who have complex goals (as opposed to the simple money motive).
Leaving banking is about a state of mind, not the actual experience. I think it is that state of mind that opens or closes doors.
On Jan 2, 2007, Coco said:
It’s very encouraging to hear that - this has to be a decision one struggled to make but I am sure it felt good after you did it