By BankersBall on Mar 31, 2006 in Ask the Working Girl, Girlfriend!
Dear Ex-Working Girl,
I find that I group female coworkers into two categories…those that I want to sleep with and those that I don’t. I believe this is very logical if you take a minute to think about it. The average man thinks about sex a gazillion times every second. In addition, it is normal for aspiring financiers spend somewhere between 60-110hrs in the office each week. Combine the two and you get a very dangerous cocktail of spreadsheets and dirty laundry.
To have these fantasies about female coworkers is one thing and to act on them is another. Obviously, a poorly executed office romance can turn out to be a career limiting decision. That brings me to my question…what are “the rules” when it comes to mackin’ on the cutie in the next cubicle? Also, do the rules change depending on the relative seniority of the coworkers?
Cube Crusher
Dear Cube Crusher,
First off, I am mega glad that you wrote me. This topic has been on my list of things that I wanted to blab about for sometime. And believe me you, girls put guys in similar categories as well. We are probably even harsher than guys. Women often subconsciously decide in the first 15 seconds of meeting a guy whether she could see herself sleeping with the bloke. Chew on that.I have felt a lot of sexual tension in the workplace. When I was a first year analyst, this made me feel somewhat uncomfortable. But now I’m a big advocate for finding romance in the workplace. You have to be if you’re working as much as bankers do (esp. on those road trips). And plus some of my best friends through work have found anything from fun flings to their true love through work. So as far as “rules” go for mackin, I think the same rules outside of work can be safely applied to inside of the workplace. Don’t be a pig. Tune into whether the gal is reciprocal or not to your advances. If you sense that she wants to tango as well, go for it my good man.
I have seen all combinations of office romance. The norm is an older, more senior male banker dating a younger, junior female banker. And then you’ve got peers dating. And finally the most taboo of all combos: the senior woman with junior male. But surprisingly, whatever the combo, most incidents pass without reprimand because despite popular belief, bankers are not all evil, manipulating types.
We need love too you know.But one word of advice — DO NOT communicate about your affair/advances via work email or voice mail. Paper trace of these things have a chance, albeit slim, of coming back to haunt you.xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo,
Ex-Working Girl
On Oct 1, 2007, Fustrated Neighbor said:
Dear Ex-working Girl,
About 3 weeks ago i got into misunderstanding with my co-worker (there are only two of us in our office and only one can move up to the next position to clue you in - i am moving out of state so i am not very interested in this position). She thought i was going behind her back a our project and trying to learn new things w/out her to move myself up. I explained that was not the case and she said thank you for apologizing. She has not talked to me since then unless spoken to. She talks about me on her personal phone calls and doesn’t say hello, good morning, goodbye, nothing. She has told me that the night everything happened she went to the bar with a friend and waitresses name was mine… her friend said “you better leave now or she is going to scratch your face off.” So, how do i get through all of this? I act like i know nothing have no fustration towards her to get through the working day and so that no body thinks there’s anything funny going on becuase they do not need to be apart of this. I am very much considering leaving the company but really need this job. What is the best way to handle this? thank you!
On Dec 27, 2007, pat said:
I had several office affairs, over the years with the ceo,or manager. And they always go back to their wife. No matter how good a woman looks. They just want a strange piece of tail and some excitment
On Feb 23, 2008, Kiki said:
Sup?
I’m an Ivy Leauge student who is preparing to go in the the Banking industry, and I would like to know your opinion on the success rate of stable relationships of bankers. A lot of my friends who are currently interning have told me that it is near impossible to maintain a relationship, once you immerse yourself into the world of banking. Is that true? My boyfriend and I are both models as well, and we have somehow managed to remain committed to each other, depsite the temptations of the industry…not to mention, we are both insanely jealous lovers too! Any adivce?