You’re being e-nnoying if…

You pretend like your cell phone is a boom box.

You are a user of any type of two-way radio (this includes walkie talkies on the slopes).

You stare at and/or twiddle with your [iPod/cell phone/whatever] for the duration of your 1 hour subway ride like a dumb f*ck.

You listen to your portable music player for absurdly short periods of time.

You listen to your portable music player while you’re talking to someone. You have zero manners.

You position yourself directly in front of the elevator TV screen because you are a monkey that has to be “entertained” by 1 week old “news”.

You use the word “mobile” in reference to your cell phone or cell phone number (OK OK and you’re American.)

You reply to emails before reading them fully.

You’re actually not really into music, but since the beginning of the iPod era, you need to be listening to music, like, all the time!

You Blackberry while walking (I saw you doing it today on Madison and it was annoying. So stop.)

You “blast” text messages.

and finally…

You answer your cell phone at dinner. You are a cock bag.