Natty’s tips on fitting into skinny jeans (you know you want to.) It’s pretty common knowledge that banking can equal big booty, in more ways than one. This article is about booty in the backside sense.

While big bunks can be good for women, I’ve not heard of the same trend for men. But we are all too susceptible to them! Many of you know all too well that “updating” the model or pitchbook can turn into all night affairs, complete with disgusting amounts of Texas BBQ or Hatsuhana.There’s just too little time and too much food. What’s the natty banker to do?

Here are 7 simple and easy tips to keep the 31-inch waist, which we all know is a prerequisite for the 3rd floor of Equinox/97, skinny jeans, and generating alpha:

1. Garbage in, garbage out. Take a daily morning dose of Konsyl in a small amount of Tropicana Low Acid Orange Juice. The single 6g packets come in boxes of 30.
2. Low on time? Fresh Dining Meals from FreshDirect are an option, but we got bored after our 12th Dill-Lemon Salmon. The Grilled Chicken Caesar Salad from Citarella is a winner when it’s in stock!
3. Get help. Make an appointment with the trainer Charlotti at Equinox / 97: It’s Not Fitness it’s Life. (Please fix the towel shortage though.)
4. Don’t want to give up on drinking or eating? Here’s a tip from the ladies — make it a liquid dinner. Certain private clubs next to the fine watch emporium WEMPE have an excellent ½ bottle of Krug.
5. Engage in a little self-love/hate. Remind yourself of what you actually look like by eating nude in front of a Wenge Wood full length mirror from Holly Hunt. But pamper yourself by using only the best, even when we’re talking about toilet paper (Renova Black, please.)
6. Make lemonade. Experienced travelers know to stay away from fresh fruit and vegetables when in countries with questionable water quality. Say you’re in Morocco staying at a villa at the Amajena Hotel. And say on a daytrip to the La Momunia Hotel, you order a salad. Well chances are you’ll get a horrific (but weight losing) case of food poisoning. Better yet, the sight of the bees/bugs/flying things all over the honey on the Souk will get you sick too! Yay!
7. The ever simple and effective: Go To Bed Hungry.