Introducing The Hater, Who’s Here to Hate on YOU
By thehater on Sep 5, 2006 in Bankersrant, The Hater
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Welcome to my column. Let me introduce myself. I’m Dan Ahdoot, and I’m a professional comedian. That’s a job that requires some sort of artistic ability – something NONE of you are familiar with. I am not fond of you guys. Finance people bother me immensely.I think there could be a couple of explanations to my hate.
Maybe it’s because you guys make so much money, and still can never explain what it is you do. (Or maybe you can explain it, but my brain, as a defense mechanism, shuts down every time I hear the word “hedge” or “equity” or whatever else you people do). Or maybe it’s because your disproportionate wealth is ruining the art world – the only people buying paintings at Sotheby’s or Christies do bullshit with hedges and probably can’t tell the difference between a Picasso or a Miro (for those of you interested in putting your money in art just to impress people, but don’t know who to buy, one of these two will do just fine).
Or maybe it’s because my ex-girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me and 3 weeks later went out with a money guy who would get $250,000 bonuses for doing GOD knows what.
Anyway, regardless of why I’m here, I’m here. And I’m here to hate on you uncreative, egotistical, stuck up douche bags. Occasionally my column will give advice but very rarely. I’m purely here to HATE! Enjoy the ride you rich bastards…
On Sep 6, 2006, Anonymous said:
please let the little man, with a fish and chip shop on his funny little shoulder, know that comedians have as much artistic integrity as my left foot, anyway he’s not exactly side-splittingly funny
On Sep 14, 2006, RetiredBanker said:
hey hater, hate - on. but the majority of these kdis who work 100hr weeks to get to those $250k bonuses earned their way their through sweat blood and Alt e-s-v-ing. there is a reason they call analysts monkeys / slaves / bitches. the work is grueling and not many people can handle it.
my guess is you’d quit after about 2 days after some self-introspection / sole-searching. “What is the bigger picture? What is my roel in this world?’ both important questions, just some people take longer to get to that point than others. In the meantime, if you’re willing to work your ass off and make 6 figures right out of college then why not?
On Oct 7, 2006, Arbiter360 said:
BFD. So far the Hater is totally un-funny, tepid and unusually obsessed with the price of art. Maybe he shoud re-name his article
“The Envious Art Fag,” or “The Hostile Loser” instead of “The Hater.”
Hell, I get more sheer hate than that on the Freeway every morning.
On Jun 28, 2007, FutureMoneymaker said:
The hater’s just jealous and disguising his jealousy as humorous. Hell, he’s not even that funny.
On Jun 28, 2007, El said:
Kind of lame, Hater, and not terribly funny. Must say I side with the banker wankers, even writing from my gallery post here. Try and pull out some better names than Picasso and Miro if you’re going to try and hate on banker art buying. Sounds like you don’t know too much about art yourself. Plus, bankers buying art is nothing new. If you feel artistic integrity is threatened, I’m afraid you have our government to thank, do yourself and favor and hate on them.
On Jun 24, 2008, HCD4L said:
I find it painful that he listed 2 spanish artists from the 20th century. A complete statement to his own closed minded opinion of art. There is more to art then the recent century, one nation, and fundamentally one art movement (surrealism/Miro was the result of Cubism/Picasso. Simplified.). I love finance, hate art, and I still get it better then him.
On Jun 26, 2008, bigwig said:
When’s the last time you did comedy for 3 days straight without sleep while people threw staplers at you???