How to tell if you are a MOU, as defined by a Craigslist hoochie. Her original answers in regular font and our additions/revisions in italics. [Thanks to S.E. for the fwd.]
1) Aged 28 - 38.

2) Work over 50hrs a week (I like my space). That might not be tenable. Sure the MOUs in training will do 70+…

3) Tall (under 5″8 need not apply). 5′10″ min.

4) Dark haired (although will date blondes, maaaaaybe a red head but you have to be exceedingly goodlooking and/or obnoxiously charming). Hair color irrelevant.

5) Work out almost everyday at Equinox, have own gym in doorman building (Crunch or NYSC attendees need not apply). Also the the Sports Club LA.

6) Dresses Well (NO Brooks Brothers). This hooch has taste.

7) Appreciates fine wine and dining (Rosanjin, Megu Midtown, Freemans, Kobe Club, STK). Some of those places are a bit cheesy, but OK.

Likes to go out (Dive Bars, Brandy Lounge, Pegu Club, The Door, PM, Beatrice Inn, Bungalow, Double 7, Lotus). It’s more about maintaining the illusion of glamour. Actual going out may or may not be required.

9) Confident with a touch of arrogance. Def.

10) Love to do shots of Patrón. Sorry, we’re just not buying the high end tequila thing.

11) Enjoy poker nights, occasional trips to Scores. Sure.

12) Have an insatiable sexual appetite. Yes, you have to be master of it all.

13) Suffer from extreme guilt when you give in to (12) with anyone but me, and proceed to lavish me with the all the spoils a girl could dream of. You have a chicken and egg problem. It’s spoils to assuage guilt.