Ask BBallers: Advice for an Eager Beaver?
By BankersBall on Feb 12, 2008 in Ask BBallers, Job Hunting
An enthusiastic freshman writes in for some internship advice. Be gentle…
[typos have been corrected to prevent billions of comments]
Hey,
First I would just like to say THANK YOU for creating BankersBall… I really do enjoy reading all the insight of an invesment banker’s life and perspective on everything. I am a freshmen at a top 7- 12 undergraduate business college ranked at U.S. Weekly. I am very interested in Invesment Banking. My first semester college GPA was a 3.8 and I am also actively involved in 4 organizations/clubs. My dream is to become one of you guys and work at a BULGE BRACKET FIRM!!! =p. Everytime I think about investment banking I get all excited. I want to start early and I know experience is key, as a freshmen I would love to start interning for an investment banking firm but unfort[unately] the summer internship process is over or at the 2nd round interview stages.
If I can’t get an internship for any invesment banking firm, where should I work/intern? I have very little knowledge of Finance/Accounting, but I am willing to work twice as hard.
Im not the smartest kid, but I am the hardest working kid no doubt. And 3 years from now on I plan to work for a BULGE BRACKET FIRM and do my job as an anaylst and do some of my associates job.
This is what I want to do and I would do anything… any advice would be great.
Thank you for your time and effort…… MODELS AND BOTTLES baby.
Calling all wizened bankers, how did you get a summer internship, and is trying to get one as a freshman jumping the gun?
On Feb 12, 2008, whoam i said:
this has to be a joke.
On Feb 12, 2008, Look@mybulge said:
Models and Bottles? More like spreadsheets and photo copies.
On Feb 12, 2008, Keith Verrazzi said:
This is revolting. I wish it was a joke, but I’m confident there are many out of there with this kind of view of banking. Poor sod. The industry is attracting increasing numbers of these kind of troglodytes and something should be done about it to preserve any kind of dignity for the profession, least of all in the eyes of an already suspicious public.
On Feb 12, 2008, Steve said:
call any HR department and tell them you want models and bottles… trust me it works.
On Feb 12, 2008, Mike Jones said:
It was all good until the “models and bottles baby”
On Feb 12, 2008, Ray Finkel said:
You’re 18 years old. If you’re at a good school you’ll be fine. Spend your summer caddying for bankers, you’ll learn how to act supercool like them, you’ll make tons of money, you’ll learn how to golf (an underappreciated skill), and you can live the life of an 18 year old kid like you should be.
Don’t be in such a rush to act like an adult, live while you’re young.
On Feb 12, 2008, matt said:
misspelling investment 3x (leaving the “t” out in each instance) only confirms your declaration that you’re not the smartest kid on the block. That, and the models and bottles thing. And the use of a smiley in the fifth sentence. And capitalizing bulge bracket firm like you’re Tony Robbins. Other than that it was fine.
On Feb 12, 2008, author of this e-mail said:
hi, i am the writer of the e-mail and i was just joking around about the models and bottles… im sorry and i appologize to everyone that was offended. (just being a kid and immature). once again sorry.
On Feb 12, 2008, WebEntrepreneur said:
LOL Fake
On Feb 12, 2008, MODELS AND BOTTLES baby said:
Kid… come on, at least check your spelling when you post on here… come back in a few years.
On Feb 12, 2008, A lot of us were like him once said:
1) Don’t apologize in comments. It’s pathetic.
2) Don’t capitalize BULGE BRACKET FIRM if you want to work for one. You should appear excited but not starstruck.
3) “Top 7-12 business college” means “#12 business college” which means “quite possibly a JC”
4) “ranked by US Weekly News” is extraneous and telling of your fourth/fifth-tier status. Just say “top business college,” even if it’s not true.
5) Don’t use ellipses… Do you see how ridiculous it looks……..
6) Do use proper punctuation like apostrophes.
7) Fucking. Spell. Check. You. Clown.
Turn these comments and re-send your letter or no self-respectable banker will give you advice beyond “tuck your mustard-stained Old Navy button-down into your Dockers.”
On Feb 12, 2008, TCP said:
For fuck’s sake, at least learn how to use capital letters and punctuation when you apologize, if not in that piece of tripe that you tried to pass off as a letter in the first place.
You want my advice?
Cancel all of your online services. Take whatever computer you wrote that on out to your back yard. Douse it with gasoline. Set it aflame. Then bury it after it has gone out, so that you have hidden the evidence that you were ever involved with this.
Then, learn how to do something basic like find your own goddamn ass with both hands and a map; that’s probably the first step you need to take in life.
Yes, that’s my gentle version.
On Feb 12, 2008, mr obvious said:
well, he wouldn’t be the first of his kind to join the ranks. he sounds like half the kids who aspire to banking greatness.
On Feb 12, 2008, Anonymous said:
this can’t be serious. he won’t make it past the resume screen.
On Feb 13, 2008, Homer Simpson said:
To be an ibanker, you have to work your way up. So as a frosh, some banks like jpmorgan have this honors program, aim for those. Most banks take sophs for their rotational programs and juniors for their regular IBD cycles. Try boutiques, or a finance oriented stint at a non banking place.
Be active on campus, you don’t have to be Beta Alpha Psi at Stern to be an ibanker.
On Feb 13, 2008, The revelation said:
What you guys need to read. Hopefully 2% of you will actually understand something:
http://www.anus.com/zine/articles/
On Feb 13, 2008, WebEntrepreneur said:
All of you who are taking this seriously are gullible idiots.
On Feb 13, 2008, Anonymous said:
Watch Wall Street. Take Notes!
On Feb 13, 2008, Anonymous said:
Can you wear dresses and take female hormones? You might call Stevie at a certain hedge fund instead.
On Feb 13, 2008, Anonymous said:
banking is for loser. sell prime brokerage. I make 750k a year and play golf 4 days a week.
On Feb 14, 2008, Jackson said:
I recommend developing extremely strong quantitative skills, an ability to read people with uncanny accuracy, and a coke habit.
On Feb 16, 2008, Schu said:
Get in line asshole, you aren’t the only one out there. For every one of you willing to bend over for the first banker you see, there’s ten of us working our asses off just for a shot at a late round interview.
Top 7-12 business school? Get your head out of the fucking sand, you’re going to have to do better than that.
On Feb 18, 2008, schu Sr. said:
The kid isnt bending over, homes he’s trying to get some advice.. sounds like an upset upperclassmen with no offers =(
On Feb 18, 2008, xsx said:
Why’s he so meanly treated? What’s wrong with starting early? I’m just a layman wanting to know more.
On Feb 19, 2008, WebEntrepreneur said:
Sounds like a fake email.