17 Comment(s)

1. On Apr 3, 2008, bruno said:

   this better be a joke..

2. On Apr 3, 2008, Big Baller said:

   This sis is simply retarded. 3.0 GPA at Siena U…?

   Dude, you wouldn’t even get a job cleaning toilets at H&R Block.

   Stick with the horseracing.

3. On Apr 3, 2008, team xerox sucks said:

   I would recommend trying to get an unpaid internship somewhere so that you can get some analytical experience. If you didn’t make the cut at the bulge bracket firms out of college, you don’t really have a shot at a front office position now. Especially not in the current market conditions. Since a hedge fund is also an extreme long shot (unless your dad, uncle, cousin etc. runs the fund), the only real shot you have right now is at a boutique ibank. That said, even that is a long shot given your lack of analytical experience. So in summary, if you want to get into the money making side of Wall St (read: avoid day trading and back office positions) you should offer to take an unpaid internship at a boutique bank or small hedge fund. Unlike some of the other idiots on this site, I will not make fun of your undergrad. It is obviously not a top school but in all honesty, that is not your biggest problem right now. You need some real experience on your resume as finance guys hate lawyers and wealth management experience is somewhat worthless. Sorry. But in all honesty, it’s not like a top 10-20 undergrad business education would have helped you all that much these days. The only real benefit of those schools is the recruiting and recruiting (for actual positions not summer interns) is virtually non-existent right now.

   I realize I didn’t comment on the content of your resume but this is an honest assessment. As someone who used to work at a boutique i bank and made interview decisions for undergrad analyst positions (before getting a real job in trading following my grad from bschool this spring), your resume will be tossed right away due to the lack of analytical experience. Your other option is to get some interesting experience and plan on a top 10 bschool next year. Hope this helps…

4. On Apr 3, 2008, optimus subprime said:

   I recommend sticking with Wealth Management for now. Go to b-school after 4 or 5 years, then make your way into banking.

5. On Apr 3, 2008, Big Baller said:

   Analytical experience… what a douchebag.

   Consigliere team xerox thinks he is a big shot following his graduation from the University of Phoenix Online.

6. On Apr 3, 2008, team xerox sucks said:

   Why am I a douchebag? That’s honest advice.

7. On Apr 3, 2008, mucho said:

   Agree with optimus. Continue with private client/wealth management, go to B-school (hate to say it, but must be top 10 to make up for undergrad…it’s the way it is), then move on over to banking.

8. On Apr 3, 2008, balls said:

   3.0 at Sienna… my advice… apply for some kind of lame ass marketing job

9. On Apr 4, 2008, Anon said:

   take off the objective, nobody has that on their resume. work for a few years and then go to b-school

10. On Apr 4, 2008, ballsonchin said:

    I don’t want to hurt your feelings so I’ll sugar-coat this as much as possible. You have no shot.

11. On Apr 4, 2008, jubbs said:

    aim for a wealth mangement job.

    keep your resume focused on more of those financial exps.
    leave out the paralegal experience. cut the American marketing association line.

12. On Apr 6, 2008, slickmac said:

    I agree that you have no shot, unless your father is Vikram Pandit but I’ll give you some feedback on your resume:
    1. Take off the objective statement. What are you thinking abbreviating investment banking with IB? Your resume is NOT a chat room.
    2. If your work with “Law Firm” ended in January, all bullet points must be in PAST TENSE.
    3. Your first bullet point is awful, if you really want to keep that idea, say something along the lines of Utilized Microsoft Office to create and modify xxxxxx
    4. “Deal with other law firms” - you have got to be kidding me. You deal with your annoying brother, you do not deal with other law firms. Did you coordinate? Did you supervise/ establish. Get a better action word…
    5. Financial Service Co - scheduling appointments is not a “marketing task”. Get rid of that. Try not to highlite too much of the administrative work you did.
    6. You did not open or manage any accounts - sorry.
    7. Your last bullet point is a summation and completely useless - plus you forgot to add a period at the end.
    8. Financial Service Co #2 - must all be past tense. Assisted, Acted, Distributed.
    9. delete your networking bullet point - come on man…
    10. delete period after horseracing.

    My final advice: Get whoever wrote your bullet points for Financial Service Co #2 to write the rest of your resume as well.

13. On Apr 7, 2008, BankOnIt said:

    My guess as to why half the bullets are in present tense and are somewhat literate - he copied them verbatim from the job description. As someone who’s spent too much time review analyst resumes recently, I would probably laugh, email this around to others in my group, and then dump this crap in the waaay bottom of the application pile.

14. On Apr 10, 2008, geez said:

    I’m surprised these people haven’t ripped you a new a**hole yet … maybe they’re more sympathetic cause they’ve been laid off. hahaha
    Go to graduate school.

15. On Apr 11, 2008, no chance said:

    Stress football team more, people like that.

    Go get a wealth management job for awhile.

    Study your ass off for the GMAT, do some shit in the community.

    Get into top 10 B-school.

    Get I-banking job.

    Being an analyst sucks anyways, might as well skip it and go straight to associate.

16. On Apr 12, 2008, Steve said:

    Enroll to magicians school. They use smoke and mirrors there too, just like in investment banking.

17. On Apr 13, 2008, AJ said:

    Dilution!

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