Annoying As Hell Blackberry Poses
By BankersBall on Apr 16, 2008 in BlackBerry
Yes, poses. Because I can’t think of a better word.
I’ve gradually come around to find BBerrying as you walk acceptable. (Still find it annoying as hell when someone in front of me is BBerrying,though). But that old, dusty hate has found a new outlet: people who hold their Blackberry in a weird-ass way. I encountered one such lady the other day and immediately the hate was back.
It’s been a while since we’ve taken up a pen and ruled paper so excuse the poor drawings. But first, let’s review what acceptable Blackberry poses look like. Here are two examples.
Yes, yes, the classic two-thumber. When I see this, I think “now there goes an efficient, hardworking fellow … and he seems to know his QWERTY! Give that man a promotion!”
This one only makes sense if you have a model with the scroll wheel. This pose is for casual BBerrying. Perhaps a quick check-and-extraction? Either way, fine, fine go about your business.
Behold a picture of the offending Blackberry pose. I call it The Pecker.
As indicated by the question marks, I don’t get what the f this person is trying to do. This pose says to me, “I don’t know what the f I am doing. I’m trying to pretend that this is a real keyboard with one hand.” Or perhaps they’re half-bird, half-human? Pecking away at the keyboard?
And while we’re at it, you know what else is annoying as hell? When someone uses their Blackberry under the table in meetings. I suppose it’s more discreet than holding a BB right up to one’s face, but come on, everyone knows what’s going on down there. I actually think it’s better to just glance down or quickly use it above-table, then put it away.
To be continued…
On Apr 17, 2008, bradpark said:
Oh my god if I saw someone using a blackberry like that I would lose my mind
On Apr 17, 2008, hitmikey said:
Also add to the list the ‘Fiend’ — the person who cannot resist taking their BB out of its holder, checking for activity, re-holstering it, taking it out in less than a minute, repeat.
On Apr 18, 2008, AltESV said:
I agree with the shadiness of under-the-table BBing. Half the time it looks like the guy is playing with his junk.
On Apr 20, 2008, BB chick said:
The third pose is definately unacceptable, but using your blackberry under the table, its understandable. Sometimes you’ll be using your blackberry under the table to send amazing ladies like me dirty text messages in the middle of the day to make your lives more interesting. The embarassment of getting caught will drive you to use it under the table.
On Apr 22, 2008, anon said:
The first one is known as the “BlackBerry Prayer”.
On Apr 26, 2008, Anonymous said:
3rd pose tells me this one is Above All. He/she has something like Ambidexterity for hands but instead for fingers. Agility(3rd) >> Agility (1st). It’s a wonder what other areas that agility (+brain) may be put to good use.
On Aug 12, 2008, British Banker said:
A certain sausage-fingered colleague of mine’s hands are simply too large for him to use his BB in the acceptable position (pic 1).
As such, he holds his BB in his right hand using his right thumb for the right side of the keys and THEN commits the offene of “pecking” at the left side with his over-sized left forefinger.
I think he must be the secret love child of a normal, respectable banker and the “pecking” lady to whom you refer.
Total infuriation. It needs to be seen to be believed.
On Sep 18, 2008, Put_Option said:
The third one is most likely used by a 18-24yo New Jersey girl who thinks EBIT means Eating Before Intentionally Throwing-up.