Posters claiming to be ex-Lehman Bros workers are looking for ways to keep “busy”.

Laid off bankers + free time = ???? You tell me. There’s a rash of posters on good ole’ CL using the Lehman sob story to score some sympathy from the ladies, among other things. Everything is coming out of the woodwork. Unfortunately, the idea is not such an original one so if you’re going to put an ad up, better give it some spin. We rate a few lonely lehmanite ads on a scale of 1 to 5 (best).

LONELY LEHMANITE 1: We present “Lehman Brothers employee, now with a lot of time on his hands… - 28 (SoHo)” via thefrisky

Hi, I work for Lehman Brothers (for how long, I have no idea!). I’m just hanging out right now, waiting to see what happens with everything — I have another job already lined up so things aren’t that bad for me.

But I am definitely looking forward to taking some time for myself to relax, etc. I have been working such long hours that I haven’t been able to find a woman that I really connect with. So I thought now would be a good time to see if there is anyone out there.

I went to an Ivy League school (for both undergrad and grad school) and have traveled the world since I was young (and a little for my job too). I love my neighborhood (Soho) and all it has to offer — the great shops, cafes, restaruants and bars. I have many interests outside of work, but lately haven’t had enough time to pursue them.

Just looking to see if there is someone out there who can interest me. And now that I have a lot of time on my hands would love to take the time to get to know a special girl.

My photo is below, please send one of you and tell me about yourself. I am looking forward to meeting the girl of my dreams (hopefully)….

We would be surprised if this one ended up being legit. The picture is strangely fuzzy, as if it’s been plucked of some site (gay porn perhaps?) and resized. And could it possibly be the same poster as this guy? And what kind of normal person poses like that? Points for having the so-called Lehman banker live in Soho, be 28 yo and mention having gone to an Ivy League school (for both grad and undergrad!). Very realistic. Nexxxxxt!

>> SCORE: 0 (PRESUMED FAKE)

LONELY LEHMANITE 2: This 26-yo “Lehman is bust, can you make me feel better? - m4w - 26 (Financial District)” just wants a travel buddy

I guess that I’ll take a vacation now or something. Relax for a bit after working straight out of college, without a vacation for the past three years. I’d love to find a cute girl to come with me though. Bermuda, St. Barts, South America? I want you to be good looking and open minded. I want to have good sex. I want you to come with me to the beach, let me wine and dine you, etc. I want a travel companion. Is that too much to ask? If you’re interested, send me an email and tell me about you.

Hm. St. Barts, South America … you were on a roll. Suggest you revise and take out the “have good sex” part out. A touch of deception goes a long way, buddy.

>> SCORE: 2.0 Passive aggressive?

LONELY LEHMANITE 3: Now here’s a similar offer “travel with me one thousand dollars or seven thousand lehman shares - 37 (nyc)”, but we have to question — what’s with the relationship as transaction ploy? Have these people never had a relationship in their lives?

Just come along with me to different cities (you choose trips you want or not), I pay travel and hotels and you can meet me there or travel with me. Days on your own, nights together. I’m your basic white, prep school, blue eyed, usually well behaved, but if I m going to lose all my money in the stock market anyway, I might as well have a bit of existentialist fun. Trips are usually 2 days (weekends) but could be 1 or 3. Send a photo, let’s meet for coffee. Discretion and safety are keys. You won’t take pictures to post on facebook and I won’t invite my self to your family’s Thanksgiving dinner. This is really a gig for people (me and you) who could never imagine doing this.

>> SCORE: 2.5. Nothing like describing oneself as “basic” to really get people interested.

LONELY LEHMANITE 4: Finally. A little bit of pizzazz. “LONELY LEHMAN LAYABOUT, LOOKING FOR LOVING - m4w - 29 (Upper West Side)”. M-thaf-cka has got alliteration going on.

Hey. So, I’m supposed to go into work tomorrow, but what’s the point? I’m going to sleep til noon instead. If I’m going to sleep that late, though, I’m going to have to stay up late. And if I’m going to stay up late, I’m going to need some company. That’s where you come in.

I’m 29, white, nice, and normal. Shoot me an email, and we’ll take it from there.

>> SCORE: 3.0. What’s with all of this describing oneself as “normal”? Nevertheless, points for keeping it casual.

And finally … some w4m:

LEHMAN SERVICER 1: “all the sad young finance guys - 21 (East Village)”

im tired of dating scruffy film students.
please be sad and smart and funny and neurotic and not old enough to be my father.
bonus points if you are/were at lehman

LEHMAN SERVICER 2: “WALL STREET - DO YOU NEED A FIRM CORRECTION? - w4m - 50 (Upper West Side)”

ARE YOU A SPANKOPHILE WHO NEEDS A FIRM CORRECTION?
THIS MATURE, TALL, EDUCATED BLACK WOMAN
WILL TAKE YOU IN HAND AND GIVE YOU
THE PROPER OVER-THE-KNEE, BARE HANDED SPANKING
THAT YOU REQUIRE. SERIOUS ONLY OUTCALL MANHATTAN

Let’s get some more personality in these ads! Send us a link to your ad when it’s up at editor at bankersball dot com. Also, we decided to dedicate a forum post to those looking for love.