Andrew Lahde Letter: Goodbye, Idiot Bankers
By BankersBall on Oct 19, 2008 in Emails & Diversions, Famous Bankers
A hedgie leaves the business … in a blaze of glory.
Andrew Lahde of Lahde Capital Management’s farewell letter to his investors.
Today I write not to gloat. Given the pain that nearly everyone is experiencing, that would be entirely inappropriate. Nor am I writing to make further predictions, as most of my forecasts in previous letters have unfolded or are in the process of unfolding. Instead, I am writing to say goodbye.
Recently, on the front page of Section C of the Wall Street Journal, a hedge fund manager who was also closing up shop (a $300 million fund), was quoted as saying, “What I have learned about the hedge fund business is that I hate it.” I could not agree more with that statement. I was in this game for the money. The low hanging fruit, i.e. idiots whose parents paid for prep school, Yale, and then the Harvard MBA, was there for the taking. These people who were (often) truly not worthy of the education they received (or supposedly received) rose to the top of companies such as AIG, Bear Stearns and Lehman Brothers and all levels of our government. All of this behavior supporting the Aristocracy only ended up making it easier for me to find people stupid enough to take the other side of my trades. God bless America.
There are far too many people for me to sincerely thank for my success. However, I do not want to sound like a Hollywood actor accepting an award. The money was reward enough. Furthermore, the endless list of those deserving thanks know who they are.
I will no longer manage money for other people or institutions. I have enough of my own wealth to manage. Some people, who think they have arrived at a reasonable estimate of my net worth, might be surprised that I would call it quits with such a small war chest. That is fine; I am content with my rewards. Moreover, I will let others try to amass nine, ten or eleven figure net worths. Meanwhile, their lives suck. Appointments back to back, booked solid for the next three months, they lookforward to their two week vacation in January during which they will likely be glued to their Blackberries or other such devices. What is the point? They will all be forgotten in fifty years anyway. Steve Balmer, Steven Cohen, and Larry Ellison will all be forgotten. I do not understand the legacy thing. Nearly everyone will be forgotten. Give up on leaving your mark. Throw the Blackberry away and enjoy life.
So this is it. With all due respect, I am dropping out. Please do not expect any type of reply to emails or voicemails within normal time frames or at all. Andy Springer and his company will be handling the dissolution of the fund. And don’t worry about my employees, they were always employed by Mr. Springer’s company and only one (who has been well-rewarded) will lose his job.
I have no interest in any deals in which anyone would like me to participate. I truly do not have a strong opinion about any market right now, other than to say that things will continue to get worse for some time, probably years. I am content sitting on the sidelines and waiting. After all, sitting and waiting is how we made money from the subprime debacle. I now have time to repair my health, which was destroyed by the stress I layered onto myself over the past two years, as well as my entire life – where I had to compete for spaces in universities and graduate schools, jobs and assets under management – with those who had all the advantages (rich parents) that I did not. May meritocracy be part of a new form of government, which needs to be established.
On the issue of the U.S. Government, I would like to make a modest proposal. First, I point out the obvious flaws, whereby legislation was repeatedly brought forth to Congress over the past eight years, which would have reigned in the predatory lending practices of now mostly defunct institutions. These institutions regularly filled the coffers of both parties in return for voting down all of this legislation designed to protect the common citizen. This is an outrage, yet no one seems to know or care about it. Since Thomas Jefferson and Adam Smith passed, I would argue that there has been a dearth of worthy philosophers in this country, at least ones focused on improving government. Capitalism worked for two hundred years, but times change, and systems become corrupt. George Soros, a man of staggering wealth, has stated that he would like to be remembered as a philosopher. My suggestion is that this great man start and sponsor a forum for great minds to come together to create a new system of government that truly represents the common man’s interest, while at the same time creating rewards great enough to attract the best and brightest minds to serve in government roles without having to rely on corruption to further their interests or lifestyles. This forum could be similar to the one used to create the operating system, Linux, which competes with Microsoft’s near monopoly. I believe there is an answer, but for now the system is clearly broken.
Lastly, while I still have an audience, I would like to bring attention to an alternative food and energy source. You won’t see it included in BP’s, “Feel good. We are working on sustainable solutions,” television commercials, nor is it mentioned in ADM’s similar commercials. But hemp has been used for at least 5,000 years for cloth and food, as well as just about everything that is produced from petroleum products. Hemp is not marijuana and vice versa. Hemp is the male plant and it grows like a weed, hence the slang term. The original American flag was made of hemp fiber and our Constitution was printed on paper made of hemp. It was used as recently as World War II by the U.S. Government, and then promptly made illegal after the war was won. At a time when rhetoric is flying about becoming more self-sufficient in terms of energy, why is it illegal to grow this plant in this country? Ah, the female. The evil female plant – marijuana. It gets you high, it makes you laugh, it does not produce a hangover. Unlike alcohol, it does not result in bar fights or wife beating. So, why is this innocuous plant illegal? Is it a gateway drug? No, that would be alcohol, which is so heavily advertised in this country. My only conclusion as to why it is illegal, is that Corporate America, which owns Congress, would rather sell you Paxil, Zoloft, Xanax and other addictive drugs, than allow you to grow a plant in your home without some of the profits going into their coffers. This policy is ludicrous. It has surely contributed to our dependency on foreign energy sources. Our policies have other countries literally laughing at our stupidity, most notably Canada, as well as several European nations (both Eastern and Western). You would not know this by paying attention to U.S. media sources though, as they tend not to elaborate on who is laughing at the United States this week. Please people, let’s stop the rhetoric and start thinking about how we can truly become self-sufficient.
With that I say goodbye and good luck.
All the best,
Andrew Lahde
On Oct 20, 2008, Julian said:
The guy is worth 10mn dollar and is mid thirties…he’s been running his fund for two years…kisssss
On Oct 20, 2008, John said:
he is also a pothead.
On Oct 20, 2008, SR said:
Sounds like a bitter loser who is pissed that he doesn’t come from old money. Scratch that; with this aimless and completely classless letter it is blatantly apparent that he is a bitter loser who is new money and mad at the world.
On Oct 20, 2008, susan jones said:
This guy is as much of an a___ hole as the guys that he is dissing. Good riddance, as your “solutions” suck as much as you do.
On Oct 20, 2008, susan jones said:
Moderated comment: This guy has been whoring himself for these many years, and now he is regretful. You are shallow, and have no brillant insights or wisdom. Very sad. Adios.
On Oct 20, 2008, Nugget-O-Tron said:
this guy seems just like another lucky prick. he cashed out because he knew he was more lucky than anything else, and didn’t want it to run out. whatever. go plant some tomatoes or something mr lahde.
On Oct 20, 2008, analyst 3 said:
this guy is my new hero — eight figures cash in the bank and I’m out
On Oct 20, 2008, Anonymous said:
good luck, analyst 3.
On Oct 21, 2008, cyprus said:
yes,ameros, you roxx :D.
You did vote for these govers, so pay and cry. Next time just use your brain, not TV and spin doctors. Greets and good luck
On Oct 21, 2008, plushtown (michael mcintyre) said:
Lahde is the one eyed man in the land of the blind actually doing well, unlike in the H.G. Wells story “Kingdom of the Blind”.
I just hope he’s enough out of the general fog to take his loot and leave California and all coasts, for by standard geology there will soon be earthquakes under ice of Greenland and West Antarctica sufficient to move megatons of the lightening glaciers into the waiting seas. (Summer of 2007 had first reported small ones under NW Greenland, and for this reason.) For more on subject, all based on mainstream sources, google “plushtown”. For $1000 offer for refutation of my basic argument made several times last 2 years, google: plushtown $1000. No attempted takers so far.
More complicated is where he should go inland, i.e. what will happen when thermohaline system alters drastically, coupled with the brand new sun cycle, and what will happen with political/power systems.
On Oct 22, 2008, Serg said:
Word, brother! I couldn’t agree more!
On Oct 22, 2008, Anonymous said:
The guy earned some money but:
1) He is not and he didnt become a GREEDY wall street machine
1) He didnt loose his values/morals and because of these morals he is getting out of this system of perverts (bankers and salesmen earning 300K $ per year….minimoum.
At least he wants to enjoy the money that he earned and save his health (especially the mental one).
For those who didnt get the message its a petty for them but mainly for the rest of us because they are the “OIL” of this greedy “MACHINE” .
On Oct 22, 2008, suicide_blond said:
i *heart* him…xoxo
On Oct 22, 2008, reddogg said:
John said:
he is also a pothead.
And those that support alcohol in any way are alchys? You think he doesn’t have a point about pharmaceutical companies benefiting from selling psychoactive drugs that simply replace the affects of the legal ones?
SR said:
Sounds like a bitter loser who is pissed that he doesn’t come from old money.
Both old money and new money are part of 1% of our population called the capitalist class. He may be bitter but it’s still a telling testimonial.
susan jones said:
This guy is as much of an a___ hole
Agreed.
susan jones said:
This guy has been whoring himself for these many years, and now he is regretful. You are shallow, and have no brillant insights or wisdom.
Most people that get paid for a job are whoring themselves out to some extent; those that manage to make money using their hobby often learn this reality. Not everything that is revealing about society needs to come from a philosopher, maybe we need to be less shallow and reflect upon how this un-eloquent, terse and offensive letter might represent how we got into this mess.
On Oct 23, 2008, Cisco said:
I also noticed that the “ad hominem” attacks came from individuals that missed the crux of the letter. AMERICA IS IN A MESS BECAUSE PEOPLE HAVE DEVALUED THE GREAT PHILOSOPHIES OF THE FOREFATHERS AND INSIST ON ESCAPING THIS REALITY THROUGH ALCOHOLIC DEBAUCHERY.
On Oct 23, 2008, peter said:
This guy starts well but loses focus. Being from new money and being pissed at old money is ALWAYS cool, because old money people are pricks. This dude doesn’t sound bitter, he sounds correct.
On Oct 23, 2008, CDC said:
What proof is there that he even authored this letter anyway? He makes some interesting and at times enlightening, funny comments, but in the end its sophmoric nonsense more akin to comments of a self-important grad student or banker wannabe who hasn’t been in the trenches yet. Is there any independent confirmation or corroboration that he even wrote this? Or are we all just victims of a hoax?
On Oct 29, 2008, FJ said:
Mr. Lahde is a legend. Using the system for a few years to gain the wealth he needed to live a life truly worth living. All of you here stating that Lahde is a “loser” because he doesn’t fit into the same materialistic sheep world that you do…well, do I even have to call you out any more than that? Lahde is a hero, someone who knew when to quit while he was ahead, with some great ideas on how to help build a better society. We shouldn’t be promoting the blind, empty pursuit of money; we should be rewarding those with vision and perspective, who are willing to put down the Blackberrys and enjoy life to its fullest.
Kudos, Mr. Lahde; enjoy your life while all your contemporaries die of heart attacks before they hit 60!
On Oct 29, 2008, luzinshirts said:
Who came out with this junk in the first place. This is all over the net now.. if he made some bumper stickers or tshirts he would “maybe” make it to Holland and get buffed good in what he know best.. I’d give the guy a crockpot if I knew the address.. but dude is not existin anywhere
On Nov 4, 2008, hervey said:
He deserves to be bitter at a society that capitalizes off the backs of the poor and middle class. It seems like he has learned what having to struggle to get to the top and stay there really means, and yes this country has filled their coffers from the misfortunes of those who have made some poor choices. Instead of bailing out those rich companies bailout those who have lost their jobs, homes, cars etc.
These are the same people whose tax money you
are so eager to get yearly!!!!
On Nov 5, 2008, Richard Wilson said:
I don’t have proof but I have heard from traders and seen quotes from other leading publications saying they were contacted directly by him. I believe it is true.
- Richard
Richard Wilson
Hedge Fund Blogger.com
On Nov 11, 2008, Rik in Canada said:
Congratulations! I think you extended your life span by getting out when you could. Come to Canada. It’s a different pace and you can smoke “alternative solutions” to your hearts content.
On Dec 23, 2008, shadow said:
ROTFL!!!
Congratulations! I laughing at US policy & economy, waiting for next debacle created” by ‘economist’ for more fun!!
On Dec 31, 2008, Nate said:
As a European I can only respect his opinion. Especially his ideas on US government make sense, the forum wont work, but this system is out of control. Congrats with your millions and enjoy life, I hope I can join you once
On Jan 4, 2009, Lab said:
this article made my day, thx.