Cause it’s crunch time.

It’s not only time for Plan B, but C, D, E … maybe even F. With that in mind we have decide to bypass the more usual job advice for something a touch more realistic. There ARE ways to maintain your quality of living!

1. Dump Ms. MBA THUNDATHIGHS … it’s time to trade UP (unless she’s loaded, in which case you were already a Mancessory and we have nothing to teach you).

2. Lose 10 pounds for every 5 years you have been a banker. Lose 15 if you were in M&A.

3. MANCESSORIZE! Pop that collar. Pop those cuffs. When in doubt, dress Italian. Also: give white or beige suits a second thought. Don’t forget that pocket square!

4. Do not focus on looks. That’s their prerogative, no longer yours.

5. Worm your way into establishments such as Bruno Jamais‘ (”Bruno Jamais is the quintessential French restaurateur with suave good looks, charming accent and debonair demeanor”), where the cougars prowl.

6. “When you can’t get the big fish, go for the little fry you can actually catch.” By that saying, consider your bosses’ former wives.

7. Bend over, if need be (see pic). So what if she’s a he?