Models and bottles, you are but a distant memory.

Remember those innocent days of AJ “models and bottles” and Aleksey Vayner? Ah, seems like decades ago.

What do we have now? Well, the high life is coming to an end. At least for great masses of you.

VanityFair has a great story on the new math — Greenwich wifeys using coupons and hocking their jewelry, high end stores doing mega discounts, the non-existent East Hamptons airport traffic, and bankers’ multimillion dollar homes crowding the market:

At the Majestic, on Central Park West, two Wall Streeters listed their three-bedroom units within hours of each other. Robert Long, a managing director of hard-hit Allied Capital, listed 8C for $13.8 million as “the most magnificently renovated grand apartment to become available on Central Park West in years.” James Kern, a former senior managing director of Bear Stearns, listed 17D—the “ultimate renovation”—for $12 million.

Ten blocks away, at the Park Laurel tower, on 63rd Street, Charles Michaels, of the hedge fund Sierra Global Management, listed his 2,800-square-foot, four-bedroom apartment with terrace for $l4.9 million. In early October, Steven F. Stuart, of the Garrison Investment hedge fund, listed the apartment directly above Michaels’s—no terrace—for $10.8 million.

We hear via Cityfile that Citi is getting rid of two of its private jets. Perhaps a superficial move, but a sign of times to come.

Meanwhile, GofaG alerts us to a banker in clubland — Mike K, someone who claims to be a Merrill employee and a club promoter as well. Well, and that is Mike K in a nutshell. We wish we had something more to say on it, but we don’t. Hardly an AJ, but we’ll take it.

And then there’s the scene on Bay Street - Toronto’s Wall Street, if you will. Says Bill Vlaad, ex-banker and now recruiter:

“I don’t think the million-dollar jobs are completely gone,” he says. “There will still be stars, the kings of the snow pile. They’re still going to get paid a lot of money. But our system just got a lot better at culling the bottom people out … the ones at the bottom of the snow pile. They’re the 10 per cent that’s already gone.

“Then there are the ones who were, and still are, in the middle of the pile. They’re not so much climbing, they’re not so hungry. These are the six-figure people, the ones who a few years out of grad school are making as much as a doctor with a full practice.

“These jobs … they’ll still be there. But the money, it’s not going to be there anymore.”

And all that after scarfing a Quarter Pounder. It all just sounds so dismal.

Please, now is the time: YOU — yes, you, you flamboyant, asshole banker — step up, tell us some douche-y story and make everyone feel better again.

For the sake of our readers, someone volunteer their tale of excess (how about you - Hookers and Blow guy?) below.