Seeking Athletic, Former Frat Boys
By BankersBall on Apr 18, 2009 in Girlfriend!
We’ve given ourselves over to personal ads. BankersList?
Someone writes us offering a finder’s fee to find her the right man. No idea if this is legit. But we feel some of you may be interested. Responses to: nycgirl92874 [at] gmail.com
Here’s the thing, guys. I haven’t had a lot of luck finding the one for me so I’m taking it upon myself to take the concept of “we met through friends” to the next level. Do you think you can help me find him? Introduce me to a friend you think I’d hit it off with and I’ll pay a finder’s fee! Why am I taking this route? My job keeps me very busy and when I do go out I like to enjoy time with my friends, not focus on meeting “him”. I’ve been trying Match but I gotta tell you, that leaves a little to be desired.
About me: Main Street (Kansas) meets New York - sexy, cute, witty, inappropriate when the moment calls (or not), former Big 12 cheerleader, old movie fan, scrabble-playing, hearty-laughing, running, yoga-ing petite (5′1) blonde firecracker. Don’t need crazy expensive nights on the town and am just as comfortable sharing a pitcher at Molly’s as I am ordering a martini at Pravda.
About him (please pay attention!): On the tall side, 5′11 or taller, prefer darker hair but can be open, athletic build, nice smile, likes a mix of dive bar/nice “scene”, charming and funny without being too “Jerry McGuire” (love ya!), genuine, smart, successful, well-dressed, professional. I like athletic, former frat boy types - sorry, perhaps it’s a fault but it is what it is. Bonus if he is “buttoned-up” during the day and in a ball cap and jeans on the weekend.
The fee will be paid after the 3rd date, although will consider paying a portion after the first date, negotiable. Forward to your friends, find me a date! I will send pictures when we’ve started a dialogue, and only if your reply is serious.
On Apr 18, 2009, Anonymous said:
Inappropriate when the moment calls?
On Apr 20, 2009, Anonymous said:
i assume 92874 is not her birthday, or are we dealing with a cougar situation?
On Apr 20, 2009, A S said:
as a financial services head-hunter, i feel like i could be a good resource here. since no one is hiring these days, i’d take on this search. what kind of fee are we talking about?
On Apr 23, 2009, cougar hunter said:
Send me a full-body shot in a thong and I’ll have a think about it
On Apr 27, 2009, Fantasy Land said:
If you can’t fin the douche you describe out in the real world, just find a rooftop. and jump. The DNA that allows such imcompetence needs to be wiped from the gene pool.
On Apr 30, 2009, Put_Option said:
Dear Money Grubber,
I’m guessing from your general disposition that you were born in NJ or Long Island, and have little knowledge of the world. You can’t have your cake and eat it to. Meaning, what do you bring to the table? If I were to judge you from this email alone, I would say you are a joke of a person. A “firecracker”? Seriously? Look, you want some fratbag who lives off his parents? Fine you can have that trash. Good luck with your search though, actually fuck that… I hope you end up with some Quant fixed income trader who would rather write an algorithm than see you naked.
On May 2, 2009, Anonymous said:
“inappropriate when the moment calls” –> that means she’s willing to go ass to mouth
On May 6, 2009, mac-11 said:
Lol, a petite firecracker! Who wants to get stuck with a midget? She comes off about as fun as a f-ing rock. Inappropriate when moments call, her highbrow way of saying she hoes. As hard as her hard sell is, anyone could have figured that out. I say she looks frumpy ass hell. Firecracker gents
On May 27, 2009, MH said:
A.S. you’re a bottom feeder through and through. Way to live up to the head-hunter reputation, my hats off to you. I think there’s an inebriated beat up stripper in a back alley you can add to your stable.
As for my real comment… I am fairly certain I know this girl from her description. Although I didn’t have her pegged for a frat-boy, the other resemblances are uncanny. I’m fairly certain she is for real.
As for you BankerBall, you are a complete and utter failure for not stringing this girl along and getting as many pictures (hoping that is one of those moments that calls for inappropriateness) and not enriching this article further.
On May 19, 2010, mcp said:
I am Michael, Telecom engineer from new york city.I’m guessing from your general disposition that you were born in NJ or Long Island, and have little knowledge of the world. You can’t have your cake and eat it to. Meaning, what do you bring to the table? If I were to judge you from this email alone, I would say you are a joke of a person. A “firecracker”? Seriously? Look, you want some fratbag who lives off his parents? Fine you can have that trash. Good luck with your search though, actually fuck that