Welcome to my column. Let me introduce myself. I’m Dan Ahdoot, and I’m a professional comedian. That’s a job that requires some sort of artistic ability – something NONE of you are familiar with. I am not fond of you guys. Finance people bother me immensely.I think there could be a couple of explanations to my hate.

Maybe it’s because you guys make so much money, and still can never explain what it is you do. (Or maybe you can explain it, but my brain, as a defense mechanism, shuts down every time I hear the word “hedge” or “equity” or whatever else you people do). More