Yeah, it’s early. But it’s warm and people are getting antsy. More

Sometimes there’s nothing you can do. You must leave your company holiday party. But yet you linger on, wondering where else to hit up. But the answer can be right in front of your chinny chin chin.

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Set adrift on a memory bliss, folks… More

What happens when you get about 15,000 cube dwellers, outfit them in matching corporate tees, then set them loose in Central Park? Why, the JPMorgan Chase Corporate Challenge, duh!

Yesterday was the first day of the New York branch of the 3.5ish mile race in Central Park. And judging by the many Lehman Bros, Morgan Stanley, Goldman and of course JPMorgan shirts in the crowd on Wednesday, the race might as well be called the Bankerthon.

The event is fascinating for a number of reasons.

For one, you spend a good amount of time milling about before the race starts, jockeying for position — with 15,000 people, you actually have to wait to start. During that time you largely check out the crowd and make judgments about people based on where they work. (Of course that emaciated hardcore-looking man works for a law firm. How did I know that?) It’s like what you do everyday, except with more context. And then there’s the alienating realization that you, too, have been branded by your company’s t-shirt. More

• I wouldn’t fear the blinking red light
• I’d always be late
• Breakout-derivative games, i.e. Brickbreaker, would have passed away quietly decades ago. And I would have not learned cheats to said games either…
• Staring at a screen would only consume 90% of my waking hours instead of 99%
• I would never, ever, wake up to the sound of NNnnnnnrngggghhhhhhh-clack (Blackberry falling off), again
• I would only be suffering from mouse-scroll related carpal tunnel
• Possibility of vacation longer than 1 day = nil
• It would be much harder to “look busy” on demand
• I would realize how boring my dinner companions are

Definition: Speakerphone generally speaking; used to be that the device was actually box-shaped.

Example: “Am I on the box?” (That’s a cue to pick up, because I’m about to tell you juicy gossip; or I’m going to talk shit about someone)

Where to begin? With web research, of course. You’d be surprised, but there’s actually quite a bit of variety that’s actually acceptable when it comes to tuxedos.

There’s single breasted and double breasted, several jacket collars, various shirt collars, ties and other accessories. But very few can pull off a double, and how many people want to wear a cumberbund, so let’s stick to what most of you (and I) find appealing.

The most important decision is probably jacket style. For a very classic look, a peaked collar, where the lower lapel extends further out that the top lapel, is the way to go. A notched lapel is perfectly acceptable and considered more of a new, casual style, but that’s the way I knew I wanted to go. There’s also shawl, which there’s no way I would wear. I start with this directory of stores and I’m off:

(1) Bergdorf Goodman: head to the open area on the 2nd floor. Of two notched collars, the Zegna ($2,000) and the Brioni ($5,000) are the only real options. Zegna has a satin collar, which seems to be more standard but I’m liking less and less, though the pants fit well. The Brioni pants are a bit full legged, but the jacket (notched with grosgrain) fits well. I pass both up, but interested by the Brioni, I continue on.

(2) Brioni: none on display, but I’m shown three what are termed “classic” looks — two shawl collars and one double breasted. The single-breasted from Bergdorf’s is not stocked. Apparently, the Brioni stores tend to carry more conservative and classic look versus the department store, I’m told.

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