I’m sure many of you were waiting with fingers poised over your keyboards, eager to bash the next post from The Hater. Unfortunately, Dan will not be writing for BBalle as our Hater of all things bankerly, so please refrain from lame comments directed at him. Direct them at us. Anyway, we’ve revised the concept a bit and will just use it as a forum to express all of the things we hate in general, in some cases pertaining to bankers and banking, and in others, pertaining to Things in General. We begin with one of our most hated hoaxes.

A few times a year, NYC plays this big trick on the eating body called “Restaurant Week.” The concept is a noble one: a three-course prix-fixe lunch is $24.07 and a three-course prix-fixe dinner for $35.00 at some of the city’s finest restaurants. Well heck, who wouldn’t take that opportunity to sample famed food at a cheapie price?

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Making front page of the Saturday WSJ is a piece about how Asians are held to tougher standards at certain elite universities.

Take for instance poor Jian Li, who got a perfect 2400 on the SAT and nearly perfect on SAT II tests in physics, chem and calculus. Although he got into Yale, he was rejected by Stanford, MIT and three Ivy League schools, including Princeton. Li has now filed a complaint against Princeton with the Office for Civil Rights.

To get a taste of just how inequitable the treatment can be, consider this one statistic:

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“The grabbing hands grab all they can
All for themselves - after all
The grabbing hands grab all they can
All for themselves - after all
It’s a competitive world
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Welcome to my column. Let me introduce myself. I’m Dan Ahdoot, and I’m a professional comedian. That’s a job that requires some sort of artistic ability – something NONE of you are familiar with. I am not fond of you guys. Finance people bother me immensely.I think there could be a couple of explanations to my hate.

Maybe it’s because you guys make so much money, and still can never explain what it is you do. (Or maybe you can explain it, but my brain, as a defense mechanism, shuts down every time I hear the word “hedge” or “equity” or whatever else you people do). More

Mommy… can I go out and kill tonight?
I feel… I feel like taking a life.
Please? I wanna steal a kitchen knife… and feel… feel like taking a life.
Daddy… Can I go out and hunt tonight?
Like you do… on Sunday mornings?
Honey, give me a real gentle knife
To feel… feel like taking a life.

– Rippin Kittin, Miss Kittin

BossBitching.com. What a b*tch*n idea. It’s like f*ckedcompany but about little people instead. Nothing really outrageous so far, but it just launched. And you can change that, can’t you? As for us … extreme paranoia takes over once again so we’re waiting on the sidelines for now.

Would there be a market for shorting people?

Fake people have
fake kids together
in fake places

Word on the Street is that many are unhappy about a certain bank’s move to attempt to block World Cup access from TVs. More

• If you stay late just to order food which you take home with you.
• You order more food than you’d ever eat (because it’s free.)
• OR you eat the extra food and get fat … all out of spite for the long hours you have to work. You still have the last (fat) laugh, though.
• You take a car “home” — home’s usually the UES but this time it happens to be upstate NY.
• You expense your year-end bonus to your secretary.
• You hoard your receipts for personal stuff in the hopes that the opportunity may come up to expense it.
• You try to translate every hour of undeserved work into some kind of expense repayment.
• You expense arbitrage.
• You get mad about 1x per week that drycleaning and suits can’t be expensed.

Any others?

All sorts of multi-talented investment bankers are coming out of the woodwork. Courtesy of P.K., another tale of how freakin awesome bankers can be at anything when they put they’ minds to it.

Video is on MySpace — Click “Wake up KFed”

S.F.W?: MUTE YOUR SOUND, & headphones if possible.

No lyrical genius there … nothing like Terence “I’m a paper gangsta getting stock quotes on my pager” Bradford, that’s for damn sure.

You’re being e-nnoying if…

You pretend like your cell phone is a boom box.

You are a user of any type of two-way radio (this includes walkie talkies on the slopes).

You stare at and/or twiddle with your [iPod/cell phone/whatever] for the duration of your 1 hour subway ride like a dumb f*ck.

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When the dog bites
When the bee stings
When I’m feeling sad
I simply remember my favorite things
And then I don’t feel so bad

Lyrics from My Favorite Things, Richard Rodgers & Oscar Hammerstein II

If you’re a girl, you’ve probably heard of this bag rental service, Bag Borrow or Steal. I read yesterday that the company got more than $8MM in venture capital financing (Seattle P-I has the details) and plans to use the money to expand its subscription service to other luxe goods, like watches and jewelry.
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…if you’re reading this. That’s how you know.
1. You’re miserable, but you’re not.

2. You use your work email for both personal and work purposes, even though “sensitive” material can get you in trouble (and email the most racist, profane, etc things with your work email despite that fact.)

3. You fear getting fat like the plague but do so, anyway.

4. You’ve been meaning to digitize your CD collection for a year or more.
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