It’s the time of year where you may not only be forced to hang out with your family, but your dreaded in-laws or in-laws to be. Isn’t it funny how f’kd up other people’s families can be? But for those of you with bfs/gfs from a different background, these are dangerous times — you’re like a fish out of water, a banker out of of his cubicle, if you will. B.A., our controversial resident WASP, has some tips for those of you who have to spend your X-mas among the white-bread, freckle-faced crowd, and to do it with elan.

Q: First, B.A., where do WASPs celebrate Christmas? Where will they take me????

A: You will most likely be getting on the MetroNorth to New England. New England is the breeding ground for the WASP of the nation, and almost every WASP in the country was either born in this area, or is second generation from this area. Prime real estate areas include: Greenwich, CT Wellesley, MA and Manhasset, NY to name a few. Also, the Main Line areas of Pennsylvania, as well as the Eastern Shore areas of Maryland and DC are WASPalicious too.

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B.A., one of our very WASPy readers, who actually plays golf and rides horses, has written up a little Xmas ditty for all to enjoy. Also, that picture to the left is of her family’s Christmas tree. The hand on top reads “Shock ‘Em!” Isn’t that sweet? If anyone wants to counter with a Kwanzaa or Chanukah song, send them to editor at bankersball dot com.

Oh little town of Darien, so rich and so white.
Along your little country roads on horseback we ride.

How nice it is to get away from the Upper East Side,
Our hopes and fears from this fiscal year will melt away tonight.

We come to little Darien just to get away,
From all the minorities who just get in the way.

Let’s play a round, and have a scotch, then surely we will say
“Thank God for Little Darien and the underpaid”

Back to New York we must go to our apartments in the sky,
but only to the neighborhoods that are gentrified.

So spread good cheer, and have no fear, the economy is fine
So let’s pop pills, drink, some beers and rip some F*cking lines.

Related:
Where My WASPs At?

Looks like keeping up is getting harder.

GET OUT THAT WALLET: “$40 is the new $30” when it comes to entree prices. Oh, and that’s not including sides, you cheap, cheap bastard. Why now? At least from one measurement, it seems restaurant prices remained pretty stable for the past decade, and only in the past two years have they shot up.

~~~~~AND YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE A WASP: You weren’t the only one that loved the Smirnoff/WASPs vid.
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I never thought I’d be forwarding a “viral video” but damn this is funny. Cred goes appropriately to M. Cocktailz. And yes, you did hear Smirnoff a billion times.