Heading to Paris soon? Bespoke to be found, in all shapes and sizes. Departures mag sums up the opportunities: More

The next time you’re in London for business, you might want to leave the poo-colored shoes at home. Brown shoes are a major British investment banker faux pas, signifying at least the downmarket “capital markets, eurobonds” and at worst, an offense so bad that you may be sent home for it, reports Reuters.

A true British rainmaker adheres to a very narrow fashion window: “handmade grey or dark blue single breasted suit, classically-cut shirt with double-cuffs and non-flashy cufflinks, a Hermes tie and black lace-up shoes.”

Bespoke suits should never be worn with belts, although one ex-banker we consulted disagrees with this, saying that often bespoke suits are made with belt loops and that anything is preferable to “suits with those little straps you can tighten.”

By sporting a white shirt, you run the risk of looking like a noob trying to play it safe. Says one esteemed tailor to Reuters, “There is a slight snobbery that white shirts are more for juniors.”

Flashy lining is OUT in the City, but pink shirts and colored shirts are IN, one female banker tells Reuters. Our ex-banker disagrees: “[Pink] is just so freakin British and it looks really bad.” So there you have it.

Dropped off at the Place du Concorde.

First stop: Hilditch & Key, 252 Rue de Rivoli. The dressing room — a curtain drawn to go change in the backroom — is surprisingly ghetto. I suppose that’s because they assume everyone coming in here already knows his size. Still.

Pick up 1 white shirt for 120 Euros.

Walk the wrong way down Saint Honore, stop at least three pairs of cowboy boots. (???) The Tumi store urges a “Wall Street Commute.” A sign proclaiming “Liquidation Totale Du Stock!!!” warrants brief investigation but not surprisingly, it’s terrible in there.

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