A recent taxi ride made us think: JUST MAYBE More

Step 1: Fight mob to get on LIRR. More

Yeah, it’s early. But it’s warm and people are getting antsy. More

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Hamptons residents and non-residents alike who have been denied parking stickers have been resorting to the black market, reports Dan’s Hamptons. One vigilant beach attendant spotted counterfeits of the “sought-after” stickers; one counterfeit version of which appeared to be scanned, without the telltale perforated edge of an authentic.

The problem is not unique to this season, reports Dan’s. Easthampton has been the victim of counterfeit stickers in the past, which resulted sticker innovation: stickers that change colors once removed from a windshield, thereby rendering it useless.

You’d think if you could afford a pricey summer rental, you could afford countless parking violations at $175 a pop. Maybe so, but the sticker is not just utilitarian; reports one parking attendant:

“I was approached by this guy in a Mercedes who was furious that he couldn’t get into ‘parking lot 1′ at Main Beach. He told me he’d be willing to pay a thousand dollars to get a sticker. I started to laugh at the guy, telling him that he’d be better off just paying the parking tickets, but he was serious. He told me there was no way that he was going to drive around with just a ‘regular’ sticker.”

Seems several readers reacted strongly to that story about Cougars and their young i-banker prey. Well, someone at the NYT translated that exact level of overweight, aged British yeeech into her skeezy 40+ yo NYC male counterpart and wrote an article about it. So let’s be a little equal opportunity and turn our fear of death and aging in general into criticism towards these Papa Fratties.

Instead of being far-off, flabby creatures with dubious powers of attraction, these male cougars are summer share addicts who can’t leave the Hamptons party, ever. And are probably living and breathing among you … they may be your coworkers, they may be part of your extended social circle, they may be you in a few years. More