Are you a zombie banker? Take the quiz below (inspired by this Vanity Fair article) and find out:

+ If you are living in, or have considered living in monstrosities like Blue, the Astor Place Tower, 40 Mercer, etc AND you work in finance, then you are a New New Yorker, or on your way to being a zombie banker. Give yourself 20 points.

+ Double check whether you are a New New Yorker by reading the below definition. Do you fit the definition of a New New Yorker (livin’ on Style Street) to a tee? Give yourself 15 points.

“New New Yorkers—bankers, fund managers, moneyed elite—don’t just want the right geographic address. They want the social comforts and personal confirmation that they’re on Style Street.”

+ But you’re not just satisifed with Style Street, of course. You also are the type of person who doesn’t have “anyone to entertain and wouldn’t know how if they did. Their box is not for lifestyle, but for storing an unexplored, unused life. In one glass-fronted living space.” Sound like you? Give yourself 10 points.

+ Are you a “vague, rich young man”? 10 points.

+ Do you want the club aesthetic (Ian Schrager, those annoying lucite chandeliers, etc) transferred to your home? 10 points.

+ Do you want a lifestyle, where everything will be done for you and “mere money will turn [you] into a functioning social quadriplegic.”? 20 points.

+ Is the reason you want to buy one of these condos because it’s just going to be an investment property that you flip in a few years, probably never staying more than the occassional weekend? Give yourself 15 points.

Scores:

0 points — real live human being who is worthy of New York (about 100 people so you should feel proud)
10-20 points — you are semi brain dead. you drink Red Bull, don’t you???
21 - 30 points — ASIMO in a suit
31 points+ — you are a zombie banker!!!
More:

This building boom isn’t a great expression of design and architectural excellence. It’s a massive speculation to relieve bankers of their bonuses, and bankers’ money is sterile. It buys peace and quiet and second-rate ideas. New York is a city that was built out of risk and danger, with much more poverty and failure than riches and success. Fund managers kill the thing they crave. They want to buy their way into excitement and that old promise of the New York vista, but they drive it out and make it extinct. The final, unpalatable, zero-tolerance truth is that hedge-fund managers, bankers, cynical architects, and insecurity-exploiting designers are far more damaging to the unstylized life of a city than all the junkies, prostitutes, panhandlers, urban cowboys, bag ladies, homeless, and graffiti kids they replace.

Vanity Fair aka “NOT a publication for rich people”